April 25, 2024

4:38 am

What do you see?

What does it look like?

How does it make you feel?

Does it remind you of something you’ve seen before?

Does it remind you of her?

Does it remind you of that time?

You know it’s been 2 years ago now

That’s a long time

That’s a long time for me

That’s a long ways away

But it’s still close in your heart

It’s still something you struggle with

I worry I won’t be able to make it up

Up to the top of my career

Up in the morning out of bed

I’m worried I won’t be able to make it anywhere

Maybe you think too much

Maybe all your friends and family love you

Maybe you’re all doing great

Maybe your view of the universe and this hard time is good for you

You’ve been thinking a lot lately

Not working a lot lately

Running out of money

Running out of time

But somehow staying afloat

I worry about you

But I know you know 

I know you know what you’re doing and where you’re going

I know you’re figuring it out

I miss you

I know you miss her

Maybe I do too

You’re doing things now I don’t know were possible before 

I’m proud of you

Are you proud of you?

Do you feel the change you’re going through in any positive light?

You see the dark and feel it

But do you see any light?

Maybe the change you’re making isn’t for light

Maybe the darkness is what contrasts the light

A dark background to light a bright silhouette

The dreams you’ve been having lately are strange

The dreams that don’t stop when you wake up 

Likes blur week over week

Day over day 

You miss things 

Things miss you

Puff misses you 

You’re in another foreign place

This time is hard and people told you it would be

But it feels like the hardest thing you’ve ever been through

I don’t know if I can say there’s a good feeling on the other side

But I know you’re putting in a lot of work to find peace

And I think you’ll be able to find that

Keep being enough

Because you are enough

Your efforts are enough

It feels like you’re never enough

But I promise you, when you look back you do see the sense of enough

And you can bring that feeling to the present moment

You can be present more of the time

What you have and what you do and what you are is all enough

It feels good to feel like you’re not enough

It feels like that gives you room to grow

Room to become better and greater and faster and stronger

If you are enough you’ll still have that room to grow

You’ll still have that room to do more if that’s what you’re called to do

Tapping into your calling by coming to a sense of peace doesn’t have to mean you don’t have an interesting story

That you don’t say interesting things

Or do interesting things

From that perspective you’re not limited or liberated 

But you are you completely 

You are the universe completely

You understand that air on earth applies nearly 15 pounds per square inch 

That holds you together from the outside from exploding

You can become your environment

You can rest as your environment needs to rest

It needs you to rest

You have the opportunity to give up your human figure 

And give something to the world not being obsessed with controlling your image any longer

Your image to your girlfriend

Your image to you work colleagues and clients

Your image to your friends and parents

They might have their own images but you can give yours back to the universe and stop worrying about it so much

That opens up the opportunity to have more fun

Sleep more deeply

And wake with a feeling of wanting to leave the bed and experience the world the way you did as a child

To go play in it

To play with it

You do complicated things

Coding things and working with databases

Working towards an abstract and concrete understanding of silicone and programming at the same time

And the universe and who you are in it at the same time

A lot’s going on in your head

A lot will always be going on

That’s your situation

That’s your environment 

And you’re a part of that

Giving up your suffering doesn’t give up your beauty

Or your story

It brings it to life

And gives it a new life it didn’t have when you were locked in the perspective of viewing it from trauma and nostalgia

Telling your story

Over and over again opens the opportunity for you to be freed from all the suffering

It opens the door to live and love for what is now 

Not what has been and what might be

I hope you’ll find this presence 

I hope that brings you peace

I hope understanding the universe from a perspective of universal language and geometry brings value and light to you and others

I think it will

I think it’ll help you a lot

I think it will help you get out of bed a lot

Get 

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