If you feel anxiety, resistance, or you feel like shit when you’re going to record, then you have a problem.

Not like you shouldn’t be doing it, but a problem that needs to be addressed. Because you can push yourself to do anything you don’t want to do, but if your body or mind resists you in the process, there’s something in the space that needs to be addressed in order to have a long-term successful strategy.

I hate hustle culture or at least enforcing hustle culture on myself.

Take time to produce your best work.

Critique your work and improve, but don’t stop producing

Take time to rest.

I’m embarrassed sending music files to my friends as we learn garageband, improve our musical skill, and work off of each other.

But I do it anyway and I’m proud of myself in hindsight.

Creating music used to be a process I resisted.

It used to feel like it sounded like garbage, because it did.

Then I got in the habit of learning new things and improving over time.

I still suck at creating music, but I was motivated by seeing famous singers also struggle through the process on this instagram channel dedicated to showing how songs are made.

Hearing Amy Winehouse struggle through recording Valarie, singing off-beat, and trudging through, inspired me to not hate my work as much.

There’s a mental state with creating things that we want to reach where we feel a bit numb. This is a mental state where we can produce content without judging ourselves.

A state where we can work without judging ourselves in a critical and negative way and instead in a logical and growth-oriented way.

It’s not something you can force.

Not hating yourself is a decision you make as you become less addicted to hating yourself and your work.

Just seeing your work truly for what it is.

This is something I don’t think I got working with companies creating content for a long time.

We either had delusions of grandeur about our content and saw it for better than it was. Or hated the content and felt bad it was produced not being ‘perfect’.

I think content creators reach this state of being able to work without judging their work, but also have a quality improvement as they stop worrying about what they desire and resist and start to just ‘be’ the creator.

But it’s not exactly described this way.

It’s usually described as a process of discipline and hard work and eventually you stop hating your work. But I think that’s bullshit or the people who do that will burn themselves out.

They’ll eventually hate doing YouTube and quit, they’ll eventually hate their business in some way or how they feel about it and sell their business.

That’s fine if that’s what they want to do. No judgment there, but it’s not at all how I want to feel about my life and the things I work on.

I want to have that non-addicted personality type who’s not addicted to hating myself and not addicted to drugs or alcohol in order to create great content. (drugs also include your god damn prescription anxiety drugs)

I feel like I’ve gone a bit off-track, but hopefully that train of thought made sense.

I started with the statement, “If you feel anxiety, resistance, or you feel like shit when you’re going to record, then you have a problem.”

The solution to that problem, in my view, is not to focus on fixing your addicted personality rather than pushing through hard things.

In some way shape or form, you’re addicted to a substance, addicted to money, addicted to scarcity, addicted to hating yourself, it could be anything.

You might not have thought about it directly before, you might not have ever tried alcohol, but you can be addicted to things years before trying them.

Addiction can be viewed from a few different lenses, the one I like to view it from is a lens of behavior patterns (like needing a release) rather than a type of action (like doing a drug).

That feeling of desiring to make content to be famous.

That feeling of resisting making content because you suck at it.

Comes down to a pattern of desiring or resisting.

This would indicate some sort of low-frequency problem in your life playing out in a high-frequency activity.

You can push yourself and ignore the underlying issue, but it will find you 10 years down the line when you wake up everyday not feeling empowered in how you interact with your business or the content you create on a day-to-day basis.

If you want your life to feel like a struggle, like climbing a mountain, then go ahead with that. Don’t worry about why you resist and desire things. Just “hustle and do the hard work” to get it done.

I want to take a different path, I want to understand the problem, understand why I feel this way, and beat feeling this way. So that when I make content and build my business, it’s not out of desire or resistance, it’s out of pure authenticity with who I am.

I don’t feel good about it.

I don’t feel bad about it.

I just feel it.

It just happens through me.

If you feel like this is pretentious or wrong, that’s fine, keep living life the way you are. I didn’t write this post for you, I wrote it for me.

You can do what you have to do, I support you in doing what you think is best for you.

This way of thinking has added tremendous liberation into my daily life and why I hate my job and how I can fix it.

By the way, mental and emotional credit to GoldenXPR – Michael Wolf & Mahalene Louis for being geniuses around desire and resistance. This post doesn’t pertain to the work they do directly, but if you feel mental constraints you don’t want to feel anymore, seek therapy, seek liberation, and check out the content they create.

They didn’t sponsor, affiliate, or approve this content, but I wanted to put in a note to the people who’ve highlighted to me that desire and resistance are major points in life to pay attention to.

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