It’s about giving respect to things

It’s about making things scared 

It’s about seeing eye to eye

It’s like if you’re in a relationship, there’s a point of realization that both people bring something to the table.

It’s about if you’d like to share a portion of your tables gains and contributions to that person.

It feels like how we determine fairness.

I imagine it’s an actual table with food the people in a relationship are bringing to it.

And also bringing things that are decorations and toys.

Like game consoles or whatever either party wants to bring to the table.

In this context it’s okay to say you don’t want to play with everyone

Or okay to have a vibe with different individuals that’s not just 

“Do I like them or not?”

Things can be the Wild West or the playground.

It doesn’t have to be straight forward.

That can be scary.

There’s no way to move up in life, just a way to move in a direction you’d like to move in.

If you’d like to talk to someone, talk to them, if they don’t want to listen, that’s okay too.

A lot of things hurt, but you’ll only have so many chances in a lifetime to be hurt.

So be hurt or be healed as much as you’d like or not like to.

I remember being obsessed with this woman. I was like 7 years old and I was like so into her.

We’d hold hands and stuff and we were in second grade.

Both of us didn’t know what love was about but we just liked hanging out and relying on each other for emotional support.

It was kind of cool.

I don’t know what happened to her as she transferred out of our school the following year and that hurt me.

The idea that I’d never see her again and we were so close. It was adorable.

I moved onto thinking about other people. And wondering why I feel alone.

I got very fast at allowing that process to happen as I aged into my 20s and started taking things seriously.

Serious job, serious mortgage, and serious bills.

Somewhere in the process of that I lost my creativity in what I do and how much I value it

And how much it adds to my life

More than anything, I’m super grateful to my mom for being like that.

She did too many things and had too many purchases, subscriptions, and things coming in so fast

But we got a lot done. With all my karate classes, Boy Scouts, and 4-H and every other program under the sun.

So much shit and so many requirements that I needed to get do that u could be happy

I learned to think like such a boring loser. 

I lost touch with my friends and lost touch with how valuable it is to be vulnerable with people.

I feel like at one point in life when I was a lil dude, I knew how important it was to give a part of myself to someone else.

How meaningful that was. Even when I had my heart broken.

I started changing to be someone I think others would like instead of seeing myself in the mirror and trying to find out how I could be more of who I wanted to be.

I hope others find that in life, because I think that’s cool to have.