For a while, I’ve been in a position of scarcity

The people at GoldenXPR call that Scare City

Living in scare city where everything is a threat and where everything feels out of control.

I’ve been deep cleaning out my bags and I had multiple tub loads of extremely dirty water

I washed my backpack I got in Greece, my duffle bag I’ve had for years, my pack I got from Adam before going to Europe, and a used computer bag that makes it easy to carry my iPad on the go.

I feel like I’ve been burnt out for a while

I feel like I’m in a place mentally where I can start to make some progress on that

I feel like my last ‘bull run’ where I started by dropping out of high school, having no money living with my mom to then start creating content on YouTube with tutorials, doing freelance work, sales work, to working myself into a full time executive position where I got to travel the world, meet great people, and fulfill a lot of the things I thought I wanted.

I had my income goals of $100,000/year met. I had my relationship goals at the time met. I had a lot of family experiences come together. Mending the relationship with my dad. Being able to feel like I could leave Minnesota.

And not to mention, buying a house, that was an awesome thing for me to do by 18 was to buy my own house with a big down payment and turn it into something special.

Really learning my way around fixing up a house.

Now it’s time for me to take another look at my goals

Having dropped out of my full-time corporate job, it’s time for me to try my own thing

To stand on my own two feet and build something for myself and others to enjoy as a business.

Over these last 4 months from January to May, I’ve spent a lot of time worrying, stressing and hustling to pay bills, and answering the question of whether I’d be able to survive without my $100,000 salary or not.

Turns out the answer was of course I could survive without it, but it did not feel like that at the time of leaving. Now that I’m making more in the range of $36,000-$40,000 per year again, but completely on my own, it’s time to see if I can make something bigger.

I’ve had to learn how to cut my expenses back and hustle for money again.

I’m taking on client jobs as quickly as I can and putting my best foot forward to get startup capital I can start taking some risks with to grow some real things.

I’ve felt very high anxiety over the last 3 years working full time corporate, but my 3 year commitment is up and now I can really launch off of that as a stepping stone.

Feeling like I can take risks with the money I hustle for sucks

It feels so bad

It’s like, I worked hard for that money, I don’t want to lose it!

But those investments in risk I see as something I’m going to get into as a way to grow.

Watching how much failure it takes to really grow a business and make something good, I see just how much I’ll have to dedicate to life to make this all work.

I feel like being backed by a therapist, a life coach, having my own place to live, some skills I didn’t have before, a network I didn’t have before, and a car. I feel like I have everything I’ll need to go to the next level.

To go from averaging $10k-$20k in my bank account once I can save that up again with hustle money, to then investing while hustling to keep bringing these things up.

I burned a lot of resources – all my money on the way down after my fall in depression over 8 years and high anxiety, but now I feel like I’m in a good place to bring some of that power back into the world.

It’s time for the second bull run